Dear Amy: My wife and I have been together for years.
She has recently lost a lot of weight. She says she just does not like how food tastes (it was before COVID). She did not exercise or use medication.
She is very proud of her weight loss, but since then things have not been the same between us. She changed a lot and became more independent.
I feel we are going to be married through the movements of. What can I do?
I’m worried about her well-being. She says she loves me and does not want anyone else.
what are your thoughts
Best Mystified: Your wife’s weight loss may be the result of a medical problem. I hope she received a thorough investigation.
Your wife’s weight loss can also be the result of an outside flirtation or even infidelity.
I’m not saying that flirting causes weight loss (if only!), But any time a partner experiences a significant body change, it could be a sign that they are polishing themselves for someone else.
Further evidence is that your wife has become more “independent” and the intimacy in your marriage has changed.
These are just theories, and I’m really sorry to share them, but I think this is something you should consider.
I do not hope you will accuse your wife of cheating on you, but rather approach this issue as a reason to talk about your own relationship.
Dear Amy: I have tenants for whom I have bent over backwards. I cut their late fees in half and allow them to pay the rent by the 15th of each month.
I take care of their home before my own. Their credit is not great, but I still approved of them moving in.
They do pay their full rent every month, but they seem to get an attitude when I make simple requests, mainly not to interfere with contractors I send to my rental property.
They changed the scope of the work without my knowledge. They offer short or contradictory answers when I ask them if work has been done correctly.
They seem unappreciative and unaware of the many breaks I have given them.
After six years, I am finally increasing the rent as they are now far below the market.
Since their communication skills are poor and they do not show appreciation, I am no longer in the mood to give them another break.
My thought was to increase the rent by 10 percent, but I know they will not appreciate or thank me, even if I can increase it by much more.
If they give me attitude, I can give them 30 days notice to evacuate. Maybe they will appreciate me once they are forced to move into a house that is half as big with 50 percent higher rent.
I feel that I am within my rights to determine the new rental amount and send a message that appreciation, manners and “thank you” go a long way.
– Nice guys finish last
Dear cute guy: You should NOT expect your tenants to express appreciation or gratitude when they are greeted with the news that you are increasing their rent by 10 percent.
Have you ever been a tenant? In general, a rent increase is not greeted with gratitude, but with grouting and possibly an attempt to negotiate.
The way your tenants express their gratitude each month is to pay their rent on time and in full. It’s a business relationship, not a cotillion.
You may sound like a thoughtful landlord, but the way to increase the rent should have been in increments over time. If you had done this over the years, these tenants might be paying close to the market rate now.
You should not put tenants in charge instead of repairs made to the home. This is your job. The requirement to “communicate well” is probably not included in your rental agreement.
If you lead these longtime tenants out, you may be in for a shock. Your next tenants can be noisy, destructive, parties, mockers.
Dear Amy: You missed the point in your response to “Offended Grandma.” This grandmother was essentially posting on Facebook the fact that her granddaughter had lost all their belongings in a fire and was raising funds along the way.
That kind of behavior is extremely stressful for a young person who has already been traumatized.
Dear upset: Thank you. I did not read the letter quite so; accept that the grandchild has already posted news of this fire on social media.
If I’m wrong about it, I agree with you.
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