Stories of Parenting and Growing Up with ADD

Mothers with ADHD are dynamic, socially anxious, creative, disorganized, passionate, emotionally sensitive, and sometimes all of the above at the same time. No two moms with ADD are the same, but many of their children remember similar screenshots of growing up under the umbrella of neurodivergence. Here, ADDitude readers remember their childhoods raised by mothers with ADHD, and how they manage the relationship today. Share your story in the comments section below.

“Life was exciting and still is. I consciously choose to embrace her love of life, novelty and love of learning. The positive chaos we lived in made me and my siblings resilient and open to change. ” – An ADDitude reader

“My mother has undiagnosed ADHD, and I was only recently diagnosed as an adult. I was homeschooled by my mother, and I never realized how much I needed and appreciated the unique accommodation she made until I went to traditional school. do not have. As an adult, I appreciate the things that make my mom creative and unique. It allows me to have empathy and offer encouragement and understanding. It allows me to be patient with her as I learn to be patient with myself. ” – HW, Colorado

“My mother was always late and was very chronically stressed. Unfortunately, mental health and ADHD at the time my mom needed the most help had such a stigma that I’m sure she felt she could not get help. I pushed myself to seek help for the depression and anxiety I was experiencing, which eventually exposed my ADHD. I wish my mother had the same help as when she needed it most. ” – An ADDitude reader

“I had very little routine as a child. When mom was home, I had to look after her. She needed constant reminders for things and experienced a lot of anxiety and rejection-sensitive dysphoria. I remember looking at their mood swings and deciding that I would just never be angry. ” – An ADDitude reader

[Free Download: When Mom Has ADHD, Too]

“My mother and I constantly bumped heads and fought over things. I now realize we were trying to communicate as if we were neurotypical. When this revelation struck, I started communicating with her as if she had ADHD like I did. We were closer now that we were doing it! ” – An ADDitude reader

“Routines were chaos as a child – both parents had ADHD and were much denied about the impact this had on their parenting. Since I found out I have ADHD, I have a new view on my relationship with my mother and it allows me to have more understanding and forgiveness for her. She just tried her best with no understanding of the barriers that ADHD caused her. ” – Vic, England

“Mother seldom sat still; she always had to move around and do something. It did not affect me, as I assumed this is how all moms acted, but it drove my dad crazy. Honestly, I do not think she ever wanted children, but the times were different then. After seeing her photo album from before she got older, I am convinced she accidentally got pregnant and was forced to get married. She was young, very beautiful, had many friends, traveled, and she seemed to live the ‘vida loca’. Then she had to exchange it for the life of a traditional mum. ” – An ADDitude reader

“My mother was undiagnosed, but I was deeply affected by her disorganization, dysfunction and impulsivity in my childhood – and today. She really wants to be a useful part of my life, but she can not stay focused when I talk to her. Knowing more about my own ADHD has helped me become more empathetic, but it is very difficult to feel close. ” – An ADDitude reader

“My mother had undiagnosed ADHD while I was growing up, a fact that she only manages now that I am navigating my own diagnosis. I know she felt ashamed that she could not figure out how to pay bills or send Christmas presents on time. Now that I accept my differences, my mother is also learning from herself. We now have a new language about how our brains work, and together we learn how to embrace our unique spiritual landscapes rather than resist them. ” – Caitlin, USA

“My mother has ADHD:” Next steps

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