It’s hard to quantify whether today’s parents are stricter or more permissive than previous generations, but the overall sentiment seems to be that parents are more lenient than they were a few decades ago.
A poll by YouGov found that younger Americans are more likely than their elders to have been raised by “not very strict” or “not at all strict” parents. Thirty-nine percent of under-30s say their parents were not very strict or not at all, compared to only 15% of over-65s.
Nicola Kraus, author of “The Nanny Diaries,” believes that this is a natural consequence of the fact that we know much more about children than we did in the past.
“We are deeply aware that our children are conscious, aware people in a way that previous generations were not aware of. Children were treated like pets or, worse, release valves for their parents’ stress and fears, and then expected to magically turn into healthy, functional adults,” she writes.
But this change in parenting has encouraged other trends that many believe are creating a greater number of young adults unable to care for themselves. Today we have helicopter parents, bulldozer parents and dependent parents whose over-involvement in their children’s lives prevents them from becoming fully integrated adults.
Reddit user u/qquackie asked the online forum, “Which parenting trend do you strongly disagree with?” and got an overwhelming number of responses from people who think today’s parents are raising entitled children.
Many of the respondents think that parents are too sensitive with their children and that they do not provide firm boundaries. They also think it is a big problem for children to think they are the center of the universe.
Here are 21 of the most popular answers to the parenting question.
1. Pretending that parenting isn’t parenting
“I won’t tell my kid to stop repeatedly kicking your leg because I don’t want to crush his spirit!” — Stoic Donkey
2. To deny your child any negative experiences or emotions
“They are a normal part of being human, teach them to deal with negative emotions now before you send them out into a world they are not prepared to deal with.” — IAmRules
3. False “gentle parenting”
“You hear and see so many parents who let their children do whatever they want, no matter how destructive, rude or hurtful their behavior is. Parents find themselves dependent on the whims of their children’s emotions in the name of gentle parenting, instead of true parenting. gentle parenting where (so I hear) boundaries are set along with validation of emotions.” — candianuk
4. Not setting clear boundaries
“You are the adult, not the child. Children benefit so much more from clear rules and consequences.” — North weight3580
5. The “bulldozer” parent
“The parent who removes all obstacles/challenges from a child’s life so they don’t learn about perseverance, problem solving, failure (sometimes you can try hard and still not get the reward) and learning from mistakes – unless the goal is to develop a highly anxious person – then it’s great to be a bulldozer parent.” – spine effect mouse
6. Stage mother syndrome
“Abusing the talents of your child just to boost your self-esteem in society.” — sweettooth_92
7. Uninterrupted supervision
“Hovering over them at every turn. Whatever happened to throwing them into a play area in another room and letting them create, explore, and occasionally get bumped?” – possible
8. Not believing the teacher
“‘My child never lies to me.’ Seriously. Parents should absolutely be their child’s biggest supporter. But support sometimes means holding the child accountable when they don’t do the right thing.” — jdith123
9. “No talking back!”
“If it also counts… Parents who punish their children for speaking up or otherwise explaining something are said to be ‘talking back.’ I honestly don’t understand why most parents refuse to admit that sometimes they are not always right no. Besides, what if one day their child comes to them and says that another adult is touching them inappropriately?” — Entry representative5
10. Helicopter parenting
“Kids need freedom to explore the world, get dirty, engage in free play. I’m not advocating putting the child outside on a Saturday morning and telling them to come home when the street lights come on , but an age-acceptable level of freedom.” — Cat_Astrophe_X
11. Push them too hard
“Pushing them too hard in sports, academics, etc. Like pushing them until they need therapy or get injured, no free time, no downtime. FFS, they can only be young and without excessive responsibilities once.” — OO-Ophelia
12. Tablets in public
“Hard cartoons and games on tablets in public places.” — StarrCreationsLLC
13. Potty training too late
“Oh man, I’m a babysitter and work in daycare. I can talk so much about this. One is late potty training. Waiting to potty train a child is more and more common. Which I generally agree with. Wait until they” re 2.5-3 and knock it out. Some take longer, some are probably ready sooner. Better than rushing it and causing problems. What it turned into. Not potty training. I am nursing a 4 year old who is still in pull ups. She is more than capable of using the potty. Our 4 year old classroom just installed a diaper genie because so many 4 year olds start kindergarten in diapers. My best friend who is a kindergarten teacher has 2 children starting kindergarten in diapers. Fortunately, they are now potty trained.” — cleaning meaning
14. Children on social media
“Create social media channels for your children where they continue to upload videos and photos of their children. Perfect place for pedophiles.” — AJSK18
15. Too much structure
”I think the overall trend is to prioritize academics/extracurriculars and college admissions over everything else. Give your kids some chores and let them hang out with their friends outside of structured sports and musical activities!” — housewife224
16. Tablet addiction
“Constantly give your child(ren) a tablet or cell phone to keep them busy because you can’t be bothered to actually be a parent or pay attention to them.” — ZRuneDemonX
17. Let the child make all the choices
“I believe kids should have reasonable choices, like what their snack is and what character is on their bedspread, but you can’t let your 3-year-old decide when you can leave your house. The world doesn’t work that way. .” – cihojuda
“To say ‘what goes on in this house, stays in this house.’ I know hundreds of victims of abuse, going through years of pain because of this phrase.” — Dixie_Maclant
“The social media trend that continues to raise expectations for birthday parties and any celebration related to a child. When I was a child, birthdays consisted of a handmade invitation made by me, a cake from the grocery store, food my mom cooked and then invite some friends and family over for games. Today’s expectation is that every month’s birthday and half-birthday consist of a big arch of balloons that will end up in the trash,’ a custom three-tiered fondant cake, wrapping paper that color-coordinates with the themed party favors and of course, a very deliberate outfit for the many photo ops that will take up most of the day. Anything for the ‘gram, right? Must me don’t even get me started on gender reveal announcements.” — kleinbunsen burner
20. Parent, not friend
“Trying to be your child’s ‘friend’, not a parent. A parent is there to provide guidance and model responsible behavior. Yes, sometimes making consequences for their actions and setting boundaries can be difficult and they won’t be happy with it. you. It’s part of the job. Ultimately, I think it will lead to a healthier relationship than being the “cool” permissive parent. I’ve seen results from that style of (not) parenting with very sad outcomes.” – Information
21. You are not special
“Perpetuating the myth that one’s children are somehow special. With about 97% certainty they are not. Teaching them that they just are enables them to crush disappointment down the road . It is much better to raise children to believe they are ordinary people with some gifts, but also some faults and weaknesses.” — AssistantToTheSensei
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