A young widow has created a Tik Tok for Father’s Day to inspire other young widows who may be struggling with grief and on their healing journey. Christiana Neazer, 31, did not expect the video to go viral and garner more than 7 million views and 1 million likes.
Her message: Happiness after loss is possible.
Christiana and her husband, Michael Neazer, struggled with infertility for five years. Christiana was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome at the age of 24, a condition that caused the ovaries to produce an abnormal amount of male sex hormones.
For five years, the couple tried one natural remedy after another to boost their fertility. Nothing seemed to work.
“It completely exhausted me emotionally, physically, psychologically and mentally,” Neazer, who lives in California, told TODAY Parents. “I prayed and cried almost every day because I so wanted to be pregnant. I couldn’t wait for my moment. “
That moment seemed impossible.
In June 2020, Neazer went to a fertility doctor and was prescribed medication to help her get pregnant. Shortly after that visit, Michael tested positive for Covid-19 and became ill. Neazer also contracted the virus, but while recovering, her husband was admitted to the hospital. She was worried about him every day and in her anxiety she never got around to taking the medication her fertility doctor prescribed.
One day, Neazer had extreme cramps and intense menstrual symptoms, but her period never came. She took a pregnancy test and expected to see a negative result – but a plus sign appeared.
“Because I was so obsessed with getting pregnant for so long, I had a stack of ovulation tests and I had a bunch of pregnancy tests,” Neazer said. “I remember I was on the phone with a friend and I walked upstairs, went to the bathroom and said, ‘Let’s do this.’ It was clockwork for me because I did it so often. ”
She was ecstatic when she found out that her deadline was also her sixth wedding anniversary.
She could not wait to lift Michael’s mood with the news. Since he was in the intensive care unit, she texted him, and he thought it was a prank. The two celebrated the news from a distance, but Michael’s condition continued to worsen. Neazer’s heart would sink every time she received a phone call.
Michael passed away in July 2020.
“I was pregnant and depressed and I was no longer excited about having a baby,” she said. “I struggled just to survive. If I had not been pregnant, I am pretty sure I would have harmed myself. If you just keep going, you learn you’re here for a reason. ”
Seven months later, she also lost her father to Covid-19 and she was more worried than ever that her daughter would not have a father figure in her life.
“You have to keep stepping forward and I know it is extremely difficult,” she said. “Choosing to live was my biggest struggle.”
Neazer completed nursing school during her pregnancy and was sure she would never find love again.
Then she met Andrae Reid.
Initially, the two built a friendship. Reid, 30, would drop by her regularly and make sure she was healthy while mourning the loss of her husband.
Shiloh was born in March 2021.
Courtesy of Christiana Neazer
Shiloh was born in March 2021. Concerned about Neazer and the baby, Reid kept looking at them through voice memos and regular text messages.
When she became interested in Reid in a romantic way, all she felt was guilt. She did not think she had the right to be happy again.
Andrae Reid’s relationship with Christiana and baby Shiloh began as a friendship.
Courtesy of ChrIstiana Neazer
In August last year, Neazer and Reid made it official and have been together ever since.
Neazer, who was also raised by her stepfather, said the whole process of sadness and growth felt like a full circle.
Tiana Paopao, 32, Neazer’s best friend, helped her create the viral video. “She always pushed me to share my story and just step out of the box and be vulnerable and to reach out to others,” Neazer said.
Neazer was raised by her stepfather, so this outcome for Shiloh feels full-circle.
Courtesy of Christiana Neazer
Paopao said Neazer deserves this fairytale ending. “She’s been through so much,” Paopao told TODAY Parents. “She kept her vows until death and I believe Michael is glad someone found her and loves her and Shiloh as Andrae does.”
Neazer and Reid, now a couple, want to share that love after loss is possible.
Courtesy Christiana Neazer
Neazer wants all young widows to know: “We must live and we must embrace those who come into our lives. Healing is an ongoing journey. You do not achieve it and then it is over. ”
This story first appeared on TODAY.com. More from TODAY:
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